Saturday, September 21, 2013

Do you hear that?

Because I do, and it's driving me crazy!  For the last couple months I keep hearing what sounds like music, but it's not quite loud enough to really identify.  Even turning something on for background noise doesn't always get rid of it.  Though usually it helps.  I keep thinking my phone is ringing, but no.  I wake up in the middle of the night because it's so annoying.  It's really frustrating.

Oh, and I keep smelling something dead.  I swear the lady upstairs killed something and is just keeping it in her apartment.  Every once in a while I get a really strong whiff of it while I'm sitting at my computer.  Smells from the hall creep under the door and I can smell them.  Of course, there aren't actually any smells (and I have no idea who lives upstairs).  It's just my brain fucking with me.  But it's gross nonetheless.  Why can't I ever get random GOOD smells?

Anyways, new topic.  My very close friends wife is in the hospital.  She tried to kill herself this afternoon.  I feel so helpless.  I hate that he is going through this right now.  I've decided to make a few freezer meals for him so he can at least not have to worry about food for himself or his kids.  I just wish there was something more I could do.  I made sure he knew what she would need while she's in there (clothes, toiletries, books, etc.) and told him about how visitation works and all that.   I just feel awful for their whole family.  His daughter is 7 and I can only imagine what she must be thinking.  Luckily (maybe?) she has been around me her whole life and knows that being in the hospital doesn't mean that someone is dying or something.  She's seen me be "sick" and has a pretty good grasp on mental health issues for how young she is.  But yeah.

I'm off to cook/bake for the rest of the night.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Not Much To Say

Well, it's Friday.  I've been having seizures much less frequently, though I did have one last Thursday.  I was at the bus station when it happened and was taken to the ER.  Everything is obviously fine, but I wish there was a way I could leave my picture there with my information so this would stop happening.

Anyways, other than that not much has happened.  I did discover that my sensory issues are possibly linked to the schizophrenia.  Not that there's much to be done about it, but I guess it's good to know?  Doesn't really matter in the long run, but knowing that it's not just in my head and me being picky gives me hope that maybe I can learn to deal with it better.

I'm hoping to be able to make some pumpkin cookies and/or muffins today or this weekend.  I just realized I'm out of eggs, so I need to get groceries first.  But I'm looking forward to it.  I'd also like to make some gingerbread cookies, but I'm not sure when I'll do that.  (If they turn out alright, maybe I'll add a picture.)

I have a list of things I need to get done today, but I'm being lazy.  I'm tired and I think my husband gave me his cold.  So that's it for me.

Monday, September 9, 2013

I'm still here

I haven't been around here much lately.  I've been a bit distracted.  Mostly, I just have no sense of time at all.  I've still not really been sleeping much regardless of what I do or don't do.

I feel like I'm mostly healed from my falls a few months ago.  My shoulder and chest still hurt a little once in a while, but for the most part they're fine.   Also, the awesome chair we ordered ended up not being able to be ordered because I'm apparently too short/fat for the Quickie we were looking at.  So it's been a huge headache trying to get that all straightened out.  The sales guy was supposed to stop by yesterday with a Tsunami chair for me to try to see if I like that, and if it works we'll probably go with that one.  But he blew me off yet again.  So hopefully he'll call today so we can get things going.  Fingers crossed.

I haven't weighed myself in a while.  I'm kind of scared to.  I know I've been gaining weight.  I see my dietitian again today and hopefully she'll be able to give me some new ideas.  I'm at a complete loss right now.

I think it's been 2 weeks since I've had a seizure!  I'm pretty excited about it.  I thought I was at 2 weeks last week, but apparently I was wrong.  I'm just glad I haven't been having as many lately.

I was talking to my husband about maybe getting a cat.  I've always been pretty hesitant about indoor cats, but lately I've been wanting a pet or something to keep me company.  Maybe a dog would be better?  I could take a dog on walks and such and that would be good to get me out more often.  I don't know.  We're both definitely more cat people than dog people, but my sister in laws oldest dog is so much fun and we both really enjoy playing with her.  So I don't know.  Maybe we'll look at dogs, too.

Anyways, not really much else to say right now.  Just wanted to update a bit.